The Velcro Wall

Dieting sucks.

Having to diet sucks.

Know why?

Because the REASON I’m dieting is so that I can go back to eating.

How stupid is that?

Let’s face it though, that’s really what it’s all about, isn’t it? Once you get past puberty and all that hormonal growing up messiness, if you’re not weirdly obsessive about food in a negative way, you’re probably not going to be. Which means you spend the rest of your life trying to find that happy balance between eating (and enjoying eating) and not getting fat.

Or, for many of us, enjoying eating, getting fat, getting unfat while not being able to enjoy eating, so we can eat again.

“No no, what you have to do is change your life.”

Uh…yeah…okay. That seems reasonable. <insert eye roll here>

No, I get it. I do. You have to change things about your life that make you unhealthy, especially as you get older. Exercise more – even if it’s just a little more, but do it regularly. Try to pick things to eat that are better for you – Paleo, high fiber, low fat, no carb, whatever you decide qualifies as “good for you.” But honestly, if I really wanted to that, I wouldn’t be having to do this in the first place.

Yeah yeah – I know. Just whining because this is day one of trying to lose some weight and I’m 150-200 calories over my recommended daily limit for trying to lose about a pound or so a week. Though what that tells me is just how much over my recommended daily caloric intake I usually am.

So I guess that’s something.

It’s hard to not get completely disheartened over the whole mess. According to this little app I downloaded, at 1.5 lbs a week, it will take me until early May to lose the 25 lbs I want to get rid of (ideally).

WTF?? May??!? Are you kidding?? That’s like forever from now!

See now anyone who knows anything about this knows that’s actually an ambitious plan. And that’s why the diet plans on TV and all that shit doesn’t even attempt to sell you anything like reality. They’ll show you the chick who lost 86 lbs on NutriSystem and YOU can do it TOO! But they don’t tell you that it took her about 2 years or so and several stops and starts, and lets not forget the regular trips to the gym for treadmill or spin class or Zumba (whatever the hell that is).

And for the record, I’m not knocking NutriSystem. I’ve tried it and it’s actually a pretty good program and if I didn’t have two kids, including a very young one, to feed as well as my husband, I would consider going on it again. The good thing about NutriSystem is that it gives you what to eat and you can arrange it pretty much any way you like. If you follow their system religiously, it does work. But for a lot of us, that sort of regimen doesn’t really work. In that case, though, you have snacks at hand, you have ready-made meals to take to work and eat for lunch or dinner and you don’t have to think too hard about it. And the food tastes good. And this was a few years ago and I know they’ve made a lot of improvements to their stuff. So for any of you considering it, give it a try. It’s not cheap but it is easy.

It’s just that losing weight that took a couple of years to put on is gonna take some time to get off. So between now and whenever I begin to see results, it’s really hard to wonder what the fuck the point is and really easy to just say “screw it – so I’m fat.”

It could be worse – I could be a lot heavier. I’ve managed to maintain within a 10-15 lb range for about 10 years, so I know I can get it down at least a little with relative ease. And I’ve learned that exercise actually feels good after the first 15 minutes or so (gotta love endorphins). I live in a hilly neighborhood that is really nice to walk – briskly – when weather permits. And I OWN the Dance Dance Revolution for the Wii, though it is still wrapped in the plastic. From last Christmas. But I’m a music lover and find that music really helps me push on through exercise. It seems like less work that way.

So I could definitely have it worse.

But man – just seeing that pound cake sitting on the counter, just…well…kinda sucks.